I was worried about having a second baby. I was worried that a second baby meant neither baby would ever again have my undivided time, focus, or attention.
I still worry about how much time/focus/attention everyone gets. Every time I'm alone with the kids, I worry that I'm not meeting everyone's needs...and that they will grow up resenting the fact that they didn't get more of/from me. Andy and I try to remind ourselves that they have each other now and they give each other something that is impossible for us to offer them. Still, my mom-brain grapples with the guilt of not being able to give them me, undivided.
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Exia has a tremendous vocabulary. She says just about everything. Except I love you. I've been working on this with her. Modeling it for her. We practice saying it to each other. I love you. Love you too. For months. Work. Model. Practice. She will repeat it if we say it to her, but she hasn't spontaneously said those words.
Until Tuesday morning. Exia and I were sitting side by side in the rocker in AJ's room and AJ was nursing (Exia likes to sit next to us so AJ's feet are in her lap). We sat there quietly rocking together...when Exia suddenly leaned down, kissed AJ's leg, reached to hold his hand, and said, "Wuv you AJ." AJ sat up a little and smiled at Exia, like he knew this was significant, then went back to eating while still holding Exia's hand.
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Hmmm. Okay. So they have each other. And maybe that is better than having an undivided me.
Okay . . . I am in tears . . . okay I am sobbing! In a good way. That is better. Can you explain "Work.Model.Practice." Particularly "Model". Love you Sawa.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah . . . I am sure Mimi and Papa know how to pick out a tomato plant better then I do . . . my Topsy Turvy tomato plant is dying :(
ReplyDeleteOh that topsy turvy [[grrr]] I was watering it today and the thing fell and exploded! No more upside down planters! My 2 tomato plants in the front are growing very well =) Remember how we were saying that we wanted to try that thing because it looked so neat! Lesson learned... go natural
ReplyDeleteThat is way too cute. Hearing those 3 little words melts my heart. I love watching Gav and A together... they wrestle, hug kiss and play with the toys together. I was worried about the age difference but that doesn't matter with them. Now I'm good emotional thinking about the love. Everyone says "wait til they fight with each other" I really don't see it happening... they love to do things together and so far respecting each others alone time too!